If you’ve ever felt guilty after eating something “bad,” you’re not alone. If you’ve ever tried to “make up for it” with exercise, skipped meals the next day, or spiraled into self-criticism, you’re not alone there either.

Food guilt is something most of us have felt — and it’s heavy. But not because of calories. Because of shame.

Shame Starts Early — and Often at Home

Sometimes, the roots of food guilt go way back.

When I was a child, my mother would occasionally make mashed potatoes for dinner. But only my brother — who didn’t struggle with his weight — and I, the youngest, were “allowed” to eat them. My mother believed she was helping my older sisters manage their weight by not making enough for everyone.

She meant well. I believe she had the best intentions.

But 55 years later, I still remember the message that moment sent. And I can only imagine what it felt like for my sisters. Probably something like:
“You’re not good enough as you are. You need to lose weight.”
“Your body doesn’t deserve the same joy or comfort as someone else’s.”

I wouldn’t be surprised if they headed straight to the kitchen for something comforting after dinner — not because they lacked willpower, but because they felt deprived, excluded, and maybe even ashamed.

This is how early and quietly food shame can begin. It’s not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s a missing scoop of mashed potatoes.

But the message stays with you.

We live in a world that labels food as “good” or “bad” — and by extension, us as good or bad, based on what we eat. Eat a salad? You’re being “good.” Eat a donut? You must be “cheating.”

This black-and-white thinking doesn’t help us build healthier habits — it keeps us stuck in a cycle of guilt, restriction, rebellion, and regret. It disconnects us from our bodies, our intuition, and even our joy.

And for those of us who struggle with obesity, that shame gets multiplied — from doctors, family, coworkers, and society at large. And it quickly becomes internalized. We begin to believe the lie that our value is tied to our food choices. And many doctors think, and actually suggest, losing weight is the cure for and the cause of every ache, pain, and illness, when you’re obese.

Shame vs. Responsibility

Let’s be clear: taking responsibility for our health is important. But responsibility is not the same as shame.

Shame says: “I ate that cookie. I have no self-control. I’m a failure.”

Responsibility says: “I ate that cookie. I was feeling stressed and tired. What was I really needing in that moment? And what could I try next time?”

See the difference? Shame tears you down. Responsibility helps you learn and grow.

Letting Go Starts With Compassion

You can’t shame yourself into a better relationship with food — but you can heal it with compassion.

Here are some ways to begin letting go of food guilt:

1. Notice the Shame Spiral
Start paying attention to the voice in your head after you eat. Are you judging yourself? Name it. That’s shame talking. Just noticing it is the first step to breaking the pattern.

2. Take Morality Out of Food
Food isn’t good or bad — it’s just food. Some foods are more nourishing, some are more comforting, some are more fun. And all of them have a place in a balanced, healthy life.

3. Ask What You Needed
Instead of punishing yourself, ask: “What was I needing in that moment?” Maybe it was comfort, energy, distraction, or love. That’s valuable information — and it can help you care for yourself better next time.

4. Practice Permission
Yes, this one’s hard — but powerful. Give yourself permission to enjoy food without guilt. When we remove restriction, the urge to binge or sneak food often fades.

5. Talk About It
Shame thrives in silence. Share your struggles with someone you trust — like your fellow Health Warriors. When someone else says, “Me too,” the shame begins to lose its power.

You Are Not the Problem

The way we’ve been taught to think about food — through diet culture, body shaming, and toxic messaging — that’s the problem. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re human.

You deserve to enjoy food without fear. You deserve a life free from guilt. And you are allowed to nourish yourself — body and soul — with love.

Together, let’s put down the weight of shame.